Alec Laine

He didn’t get a good glimpse of it though, as soon as he bushes had been cut away, it had jumped out and slashed at Mark’s chest. Typo: "the" Luckily, ...

The desk was an oasis of emptiness in the unkempt room, which was strewn with clothes, magazines and rubbish. However, the desk ’s usual squatters: empty pizza boxes, mugs of ...

It's terrible, this prolouge, but review! I need somehelp! :) I'll say it again: Don't underestimate yourself. What happens when you’re too young to fight, but to old to cower…….? ...

Here's a few things I noticed: That dreadful ticking noise. Tick, tick, tick……is what she heard, if she did hear it correctly. I don't like the last part, you could ...

Of corse then, he was named Roger. "course" And I would rephrase this to "Of course, back then, he was named Roger." So it was a big change, I would ...

But the hellish storm of bullets, that had been crashing into the hull of the ship, had stopped. I have a strong dislike against the word "But" in the beginning ...

Michael’s eyes jolted open. The policeman’s body hung limply against his shoulder, dripping blood down his collar. Suddenly, the illusion of death vanished. Very, VERY well put. Loved it. He ...

Hey there! I'm here to provide some nitpicks ^^. She swerved as a chunk of metal landed next to her, the sides of it piercing right through her boot, scrapping ...

First off, it's nice to read your work again. Been missing this chapter for some time now. Here are a few thoughts about it: That moment of joy at his ...

ForceMaster: Mace Windau keeps telling me you have all these weird accounts sending Yoda and him messages? Dna4sale: yep there called CLONES. They’re really cool. You know how Windu is ...

He seemed so excited whenever he talked about it at dinner, but he never told us exactly what it was. “It’s a surprise,” he’d say. “You’ll find out soon enough, ...

At least there was still coffee, he rationalized as he poured the dark liquid into a white Styrofoam cup. He sipped it, and it was surprisingly good too. But at ...

The longer you ignore it, the stronger your thirst becomes, until you are able to resist it no longer, and feed on the first living thing that you come across, ...

I have to start out by saying that I absolutely love your way of writing. It is so personal and straight forward. Honest might be the word I'm looking for. ...

This is chapter 2 of Silent Chaos, and it needs a lot of work! Critiques are welcome :D Every part of me, my brain, my heart, my soul, was telling ...